


Ebbing Light

by ZiziTopsider



Series: The Dragon's Goddess [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Reader Insert, Soft Hanzo Hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZiziTopsider/pseuds/ZiziTopsider
Summary: After the high comes the low. You struggle to understand, causing Hanzo to pull away.
Relationships: Hanzo Shimada/Reader
Series: The Dragon's Goddess [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732213
Kudos: 37





	Ebbing Light

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I have a problem.
> 
> Anyway here's Wonderwall.

Standing in the middle of a training room with your hands held out in front of you, beads of sweat formed along your hairline and your lip was tucked between teeth. Explosion spots littered the grounds, but that didn’t seem to deter you at all. No, if anything they were lessons on things you needed to improve. As you wiggled your fingers, sparks began to form between them in pops of light that lit the otherwise dim room. From behind a safety glass, people watched as you once again tried to control the power you were given. Somewhere above you, a speaker buzzed to life followed by a calm yet slightly irritated voice.

“Hebe, you don’t have to do this. We already have techs that are currently working on gloves that can help you along,”

Baring your teeth, you glanced at the one who spoke.”Thanks, but no thanks. I already have all the assistance I need, Captain Laureant.”

Captain Laureant was new to your team, but her commitment to you showed through in different ways. Each time you wanted to give up on this and go home, she would root for you, give you the burst of encouragement to maybe give it another shot. She often meditated with you, helping you through the mental wall that you had about your power, the thing you saw as a nuisance. The two of you stayed in this training room for five hours, you refusing to give it a break, and her patience slipping by as the minutes passed.

Exasperated, she turned off the microphone and rubbed her temples. “She’s only going to overexert herself. How do you get through to her, Shimada?”

Arms folded over his chest, Hanzo watched with calculating eyes as his belle struggled with something that even he couldn’t help with. “I haven’t. It is something that she herself has to take away, though we have had many conversations about this.”

With a shrug of her shoulders, Laureant stood to her feet and raised her hands above her in a well deserved stretch. “She’s just so stubborn. We have the resources, but she’s too headstrong.”

Tutting, he walked towards the door as he shook his head to the statement. When his hand was on the knob, he paused. “She may be stubborn, but she wants to do this on her own without man made assistance. I believe that she will find the source of her limitations and excel flawlessly.”

Before she could stop her, Hanzo was through the door and fast approaching your side. With your head so focused on the sparks before you, his presence wasn’t detected until his hand was on your shoulder. In a flash you whipped around to the intruder with your fists up, but lowered them when you saw him. “Cheese and crackers, Hanzo! Can you _not_ sneak up on me when I’m active?”

His eyebrows knit, musing over the turn of phrase for a bit before he added to the vast mental book of oddities. “You do not look active at the moment, Hebe. Maybe you should take a break for now and come join me for dinner.”

“Wait, it can’t be dinner time already. It’s only-”Your eyes locked onto the clock just above the surveillance glass and gaped. “Well hot damn, guess it is dinner time.”

“I do not know how damn could be hot, but you need to rest. I would rather have you energized than burnt out.”

Pausing, your head leaned to the side as his words registered. Though Hanzo had a vast wealth of knowledge and a penchant for learning, some things that would be obvious to some flew over his head. It was endearing, and it was one of the things you admire about him. Together the two of you made your way out of the training room towards the cafeteria, you listening intently as he talked about his day. With trays in hand, you opted for a window seat to watch the sun set behind the mountains.

In comfortable silence you ate, chancing glances his way as he boldly watched the way your eyes lit up at a passing bird and how the last rays of sun reflected on your face. Ever since the camping trip, the two of you have been an unofficial item. What you thought would be just a weekend rush turned into a beautiful friendship full of learning each other’s interests and just being in the moment. You really weren’t in a rush to define it, and he hasn’t brought it up in conversation.

So the two of you stayed like that for months on the boundary line where friends sometimes kissed and cuddled while watching movies.

After the sun set and the cafeteria staff began closing the main bar, the two of you took great care in cleaning off the table, placing your trays away and walking towards your dorms. Hanzo’s hand flexed comfortably near yours, grazing it when you had to side step a shipping cart or someone late for their evening watch. 

The first time he tried to initiate hand holding you shocked him. Literally. It was during a movie night for your floor and you invited him to join in. As the movie neared the climax he attempted to slide his hand over yours. The rush of it all sent a small spark to his palm which caused him to yelp during the big reveal. Too embarrassed to admit what happened, he was ribbed relentlessly by everyone for being scared of a robot bunny.

When you approached your door, Hanzo waited as you swiped the key card and cracked it. Turning to face him, you saw the small tint of pink on his cheeks. He was a very proud man, but something about you made him oh so very nervous. With a smile, you met his eyes. “Do you… want to come in?”

Clearing his throat, he flexed his hands nervously at his side. “Only if you want me to.”

With a lilted laugh, you pulled him into your room. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to.”

As the door slid shut, Hanzo braced you against it, caging his arms at your shoulders as he leaned in to capture your lips with his. This wasn’t a new feeling for you, but every time it happened your stomach would do flips as if it were the first time. At this point it became a careful dance. He’d kiss you at the door, help you out of your shoes and put you on the couch while he grabbed snacks and drinks from your kitchenette. The two of you would binge watch shows while he questioned mundane things and listen to you carefully explain, then carry you off to bed when you ultimately fell asleep on him, tucking you in and leaving for his room.

Tonight was a bit different. There was a different fire in his kiss, the urgency in the way he held you while you struggled out of your shoes. Instead of leaving you on the couch, he pulled you in a needy embrace as he kissed you, leaving you breathless. Your stomach clenched with the rush of excitement that fluttered throughout your whole body, making your head spin and chest tighten in a way that you couldn’t tell was good or bad. He seemed to have sensed your hesitation and pulled away.

“Was that not the right thing to do? Did I make you feel uncomfortable, Hebe?”

“No no, Hanzo. That was amazing. I just…”

Rising to his feet, he balled his fists at his side nervously. “I’m sorry. I should take my leave, then.”

Jumping up behind him, you rushed after him, grabbing hold of his hand. “Hanzo, please. Stay with me. This was a bit different than before, so I was confused.”

Nodding, he took your hand and squeezed it. “I was a bit more zealous than I have been in previous encounters. This is all still new to me and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to do something that you are unclear of what the end game is.”

Your heart twisted in an uncomfortable way. Pulling your hand away to the other, you wrung them together, afraid of what you should say next. “But I thought we knew what we were?”

“What are we, Hebe? In your words, how would you define what the two of us have been carrying on for the last three months, because I feel that our responses will be vastly different.”

The air grew thick around you. Hanzo stared at you with an intensity that you’ve only witnessed on the battlefield. His words had a bite to them that you’ve heard once before, and that was when the two of you first met. The confusion and agitation that you thought came out of nowhere became painfully obvious the longer you stayed silent. Figuring that was your answer, he scoffed. “You may be alright with the lack of definition in ‘this thing’, but I’m growing tired of restricting myself from my full feelings. When you have an answer for me, you can find me. Until then I think it best that we try to put some distance between us.”

“Hanzo, wait-”

“I’ve said enough.”

You watched as he quietly moved around your room, grabbing his shoes and a couple of personal effects he’s left behind. Vision blurred, you didn’t see his pain filled eyes. Instead, you crumpled to the floor and cried, beating yourself up for not chasing him down. What was holding you back? What kept you from saying what you both know to be true?

That night and there after, you cried yourself to sleep.

-

The next two weeks went by in a blur. You stayed in the admin office sorting out paperwork that no one has bothered with for years, filing it by name and date. When you weren’t working, you tried and failed miserably to get anything more than uncontrolled sparks to dash around the training room. Any time you thought you saw Hanzo, you’d run in the opposite direction. Things between you were back to square one and it hurt.

When busying yourself didn’t work, you went back to the one true thing that soothed you. With arms full of ingredients and books, you cooked and baked treats from around the world, passing them out to different departments when you went to work. It was simple and tedious, but it was the best distraction that you came up with.

On a Saturday, you were midway through caramel apple cupcakes when the power went out in the dorms. Frustrated cries rang out in the rooms around you, then silence when the rumble of thunder echoed overhead. Slamming the spoon into the bowl, you made your way out of your room to the patio since you couldn’t do much else with your project until the power came back.

Dark clouds rumbled overhead, the sounds of rain pattering on the roof and the grass relaxed you while you sat on one of the benches. Flashbacks to your childhood came to mind, fond memories of sitting outside during a sticky summer day as the storm clouds rolled in. You’d watch the way the trees swayed with the bursts of wind that came through, the pockets of water that began pooling in the uneven surface of the grass. The skin on your arms began to goosebump as the storm fast approached, those familiar sparks tingling in your fingertips as the last piece of your memories came forth.

One summer evening you did as you always have done before, grabbed a bowl of cherries and watched the storms pass by. This one was rougher than normal, uncertainty buzzing around you when the wicker swing you sat on swayed haphazardly in the whipping winds. Checking your phone, you tried to be sure that you weren’t one of those fools who sit outside when there’s a tornado but saw no warnings in your area. Instead, you heard the sound of cracking before everything went white. Lightning struck so close to where you sat that it overwhelmed your whole body, the surge proving to be too much for you to handle. Your parents found you passed out and glowing an hour later. Since then, whenever the sound of thunder rumbled above, you stayed indoors.

As you opened your eyes, reality sunk in. That day was when you began to fear your gift. You began to see it as nothing but bothersome. Any time you needed to use it, it only scared you more and more. The uncertainty of the wild nature that it was made you fear the unknown. It made you afraid to try new things, made you afraid to go against the grain. You stayed safe and to yourself, only utilizing a small fraction of it when necessary, like lighting a fire or jumpstarting a car.

The way it coursed through your veins reminded you of the way you felt when Hanzo kissed you that night. Pure, uncontrollable, enthralling energy that you took for granted because you were too afraid to act on it.

Not any longer.

Seemingly running on autopilot, you dashed off into the middle of a soccer field near the dorms, arms stretched out to each side as you laughed and let the rain pour on you. As you spun, thunder rumbled above you in cascading succession, clouds seeming to form and roll with the might of the chaotic energy around it. People watched from the safety of the patio in bewilderment while you ran your hands through your hair and played with the droplets of water that dripped down your nose.

The hairs on your arm raised. That once forgotten buzz dulled out your senses and the shouts from behind drizzled to nothing. When you turned towards the building, you saw Hanzo watching in disbelief, his hand waving you to come back to safety.

That’s when the lightning struck.

-

Monitors beeped around you, lulling you awake. Blinking away the sleep in your eyes, you focused to the screen, then to the iv’s attached to your arm and heart monitors on your chest. Everything hurt to move, but you tried to sit up when a pair of familiar hands pushed you to lay once more. Turning to him, Hanzo fluffed the pillow behind your head and pulled the blanket over your chest, running his hand over the mess of cords that shifted in your movements. Eyes bloodshot, hair frazzled in the haphazard bun that struggled to stay together, clothes covered in dirt and who knows what else, he looked at the monitor before he seemed satisfied.

“You’ve been out for three days. The doctor’s said that you were touch and go for a while, but I was sure that you would be too stubborn to succumb to this.”

The mirth in his words didn’t meet his eyes. You tried to reach for his hand but he calmly guided yours back to the bed. “Hanzo-”

Gripping the bed rail, his arms began to shake with a resurgence of energy. “What possessed you to go out in the middle of a storm and do something so foolish, Hebe? Was this some sort of attempt at ending your life?!”

Cowering, you shook your head, lip quivering from his words. “No! God Hanzo, no. I don’t know what came over me. It was like my body was on autopilot.”

Huffing, he pulled the tie on his head, letting his hair cascade around his face. The way you flinched reminded him to temper his emotions. “Why were you out there in the first place?”

When you tried to sit up once more, he raised his arm in your direction to keep you still. Instead of fighting it, you laid back down and studied the patterns of the ceiling tile. “Well, the power went out in the dorms while I was baking. I didn’t want to be locked inside so I figured it would be fun to watch the storm from the patio.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he strained to keep his voice down. “That doesn’t explain-”

“I figured out what my block was.”

Turning your head to face him, your heart skipped a beat when you met his unnerving stare. As he ran a shaking hand through his hair, you shifted uncomfortably in the bed. “By getting struck by _lightning?!_ ”

When you nodded, he laughed in disbelief. Tossing his hands up he resigned to slouch back in his seat. “Unbelievable.”

“It’s not, though. I realized what was stopping me from doing anything in my life.”

“Typical. Most people who have near death experiences go through what you are right now.”

The beeps from the monitor began to increase. Breathing through your nose, your fingers gripped the sheets at your sides. “That’s not what I mean, Hanzo.”

Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Hanzo rested his chin on his folded hands below, trying his best to hide the bite in his words. “Enlighten me then.”

“I’m not going to tell you if you’re going to be like that.”

“That wouldn’t be the first time you’ve refused to explain something to me.”

At this point you were shaking where you lay. The beeping increased in pace as your heart sped up, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You’ve just woken up not even ten minutes ago and this is how he decided to be?

“Leave.”

“What? I have been here ever since-”

The lights in the room flickered, but you didn’t notice. That familiar buzz in your fingers shifted restlessly as you tried to calm down. “I want you to go. Please, leave.”

“Hebe-”

“ _LEAVE!_ ” 

The monitors attached to you shorted out while the light bulbs above burst. As the glass rained down from above, Hanzo shielded his eyes that watched as you broke down in tears, hands covering your face while electricity ebbed around your arms. Doors swung open as your care team raced to you, unplugging the wires from your arms and checked to see if there were more injuries. While the room became chaotic, he took the opportunity to slip away before you were sedated.

-

You were discharged two weeks later and given two additional weeks of light duty until you were cleared. As you made your way back to your dorm people stopped to check in on you, relieved to see that you make a rather perfect recovery from something that normally would end a person’s life. No burns, scarring or any ill effects outside of being a bit more charged than normal, surprising the staff in the medbay. They chalked it up to you acting as a sort of lightning rod or another current which is why you left unscathed. 

Entering your room, you expected to come back to a mess of dishes and foul smells but was surprised to see it was cleaner than before. A stack of your laundry sat on top of your dresser and the fridge was full of food. After a long shower and a good meal, you left to go to the shop in the main lobby for toiletries. Walking down the stairs, you saw Hanzo appear from around the corner with a bag in his hands. When he saw you, he stopped, shifting the bags around.

“h-Hey, Hanzo.”

“Hello. You’ve recovered well.”

Shifting around on the stairs, your hands fidgeted in the pockets of your sweat pants. “That I have.”

A long pause passed between the two of you. Finally, you cleared your throat. “Can we.. talk? That is, if you aren’t busy at the moment.”

“That would be fine. I was actually on my way back to your room to drop off these items since you were running low. I’m sorry that I entered without your permission.”

Surprised, you chuckled and shook your head. “No, that’s okay. I would do the same for you if the roles were reversed.”

Turning on your heel, you walked back up the stairs and waited until he was close. When you tried to grab the bags from his hands he shifted, insisting on carrying them for you. Your ears burned and heart faced as you walked alongside him back to your room. Swiping your key card, the lock shifted and you opened the door, stepping aside while he walked in and followed after.

Walking to the fridge you grabbed two bottles of strawberry iced tea from inside, then turned to sit down after closing it. When he sat down, you held one towards him which he took with a silent thanks. After taking a couple of sips, he finally spoke.

“My actions in the hospital room were uncalled for. I shouldn’t have spoken to you with such cross words.”

“It came from a place of concern, so it’s understandable why you would be so agitated.”

Shaking his head, he folded his hands on the table and studied the lines and grooves on each finger. “That doesn’t justify why I brought such a sensitive topic up at that moment.”

That you could agree to. Leaning back in the chair, you pulled one of your feet up to rest your chin on your knee. “Things have been so strained between the two of us. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t hurt by your words, though.”

Not wanting to broach it any longer, Hanzo guided the topic elsewhere. “In the room, you said that you figured out what was stopping you. What was it?”

Raising your hand, you flattened out your palm just above the surface of the table. Within moments, your fingers began to glow with light sparks webbing between each other. “This. I feared it, downright terrified of what would happen if I relented control over it. When I was in the field it finally clicked. The reason why I have never been able to successfully use this without consequences to myself or others was the fear, so I suppressed it. I didn’t want to try anything new because I didn’t want to fail.”

“Fear of the unknown, that is understandable.” He watched as you closed your hands, face set deep in concentration before you opened it once more. A small ball of energy sat comfortably in the middle of your palm with tendrils drifted hazily from your fingertips towards it.

“That night you asked me what I defined what we were, I hesitated. You’ve made me feel things that confused me in a good way. I didn’t want to answer too hastily because to be honest, I still don’t know the right words for it. All I know is that when I am with you, I am happy. I know I want to continue to feel happy by your side for as long as you’ll have me there.”

Hanzo’s shoulders sagged as he pulled his hands to his lap. “I don’t think you fully understood mine, Hebe. I care for you in a way that is different from something casual. I never pushed because we were still learning, but the longer I spent time with you the more I knew I would want to become serious. It’s been far too long since I have felt this way about anyone, and I do not wish to waste it on frivolity. Now, if you do not feel the same way please let me know now. We can continue to be friends, but anything past that has to stop.”

You had your answer. 

When you moved to stand, his eyes followed as you rounded the table towards him. He stilled when you straddled his lap, placing his hands on your hips while you draped yours across his shoulders. His breath hitched when you kissed his cheek, eyes fluttering shut when your hands scraped gently at his scalp. Finally, you rested your head on his chest, fingers playing with the wisps of hair on the nape of his neck.

“Then let’s become something serious. If we need the titles, we can use the titles. You’ll be my boyfriend and I your girlfriend. I never said anything to you about it because I was afraid that you would turn me down, but now things are clear. Being with you like this makes my heart flutter and I want to keep feeling that for as long as humanly possible.”

Quietly, the two of you sat in the chair until it began to threaten under the doubled weight. When you stood and stretched, his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you in for a searing kiss drenched in long tempered emotion. Breaking the kiss, one of his hands cradled your cheek. “Thank you. I will do my best to be a good boyfriend to you.”

Giggling, you kissed his wrist and shifted your weight on each foot. “No, thank you. You’ve already proven that you will be good to me. I just hope that I can be a good girlfriend to you from here on out.”

After another kiss, he hummed, rubbing small circles on your back. “I know you will be. I expect nothing less from my Goddess.”

That night, the two of you stayed up late binging on missed episodes of the shows you loved and ate dinner he made. Instead of leaving, you invited him to stay with you that night. So together, nerves aside, you slept tangled in each other's arms, dreams finally pleasant for the first time in a long time.


End file.
